Esmes Story
by IntoxicatedLove
Summary: Esme has just lost her son and her world seems to have just crumbled before her eyes, but what will happen when a young docter saves her? does she see a new life in him? or does her life crumble even more? my version of esmes death and new life
1. Running

**Hey! This is my third story! WOOOOPPPP! WE CAN ALL PARTY! Well this is the start of my story, sort of a preview :D Im gonna see how people react to it and if they like it then I'll keep on writing, if they dnt like it,well then lets just say that you better like it! *shakes fist* I JOKE! :D But still :D So read and enjoy! **

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**Esmes Story**

**Esmes POV**

My heart pounding, I ran, flat out. Not letting my eyes wander back to the hospital, but staring dead ahead, pushing my legs forward. Rain dreanched my hair and clothes so that I was shiverring from head to foot. The frost-bite wind pounded against me. But what did I care? My life, soul, heart...my child was gone...dead...never coming back. A shriek of pain left my lips and the sobs that I had been keeping under control finally broke from my chest.  
That was the hardest thing to face. The fact that I was never going to see his soft rosey cheeks again. That I was never going to hear his soft patter of feet walk across my path. Knowing that I was never going to look into to his mischevious bright blue eyes again. Facing the evidence that prooved that he was dead. He was gone, the only thing the kept me going, the only thing that kept me alive was gone. And now I was left alone to face the horrible incidents of this life. Alone.  
I shut my eyes and slid to the ground, letting the darkness of my life take me over.

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**Well thats the start! a little preview!**

**While I wrote this I listened to Esmes theme song! I love it! Lol! when u hear it I think ull ALL agree with me that this is a brilliant song! (link will be on my page) :D Hoped U liked this story! Plz REVIEW PEOPLE!  
cullengirlatheart**


	2. Death or LifeInDeath?

**Hey, second chap up :D woop woop!**

**I know that my version of esmes story may be slightly different then Stephanie Meyers version, but still, its my version so dnt moan at me if theres a slight fact wrong (btw I mite change slight events during the story) :D And if u do get slightly confussed whats going on, just review or PM me and I can help :D**

**Here it is anyway!**

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**Esmes Story**

**Carlisle's POV**

I stared blankley at the word printed in bold on the door; MORGE. I wanted to save her, I _needed_ to save her. But were my needs more important then hers? Did I _need_ to curse another person into this wretched life? I didn't want her to die, yet dieing seemed much more peaceful then my curse.  
But _could_ I let this stranger die? My existence seemed to be intertwined with hers. It was as though if she died I would surely go with her. Even the thought of her dieing seemed to make me feel weak. The thought of her death made the monster inside me growl with disapprovel. As though both my human and monster side wanted to stop this death. As though there was a new emotion inside me bursting into motion.  
Death or Life-in-Death? Never before had that question been so hard to answer. I wanted her to live, yet she was beyond proper repair. She could never _live_ again. It was either death or vampire? But which one had the hardest price to pay?  
She _could_ be happy, though. We both _could_ be happy.... together. But if she_ could_ have been happy, would she have committed suicide in the first place? I made up my mind. I turned my back on the the door and strode down the moonlite hallway, in the oppostie direction of the door. If her life had been full of somuch woe, so much that made her resort to suicide then she could not live with those wretched memories. I would not make her exist still having to face those murcky memories for eternity. I would leave her in peace.  
I heard her faint haertbeat slow into a peaceful thrum. This was naturel, I told myself, the way its _meant_ to be. But that still did not calm the monster (that now had burst into a sequence of growls) inside of me. Luckily I had control of myself, luckily I could control my feet that were trying to edge their way back. But was that really me being lucky? NO! I had made up my mind, nothing was going to alter my diecision. _She_ was the lucky one.  
I tried to distract myself by counting every beat of her heart. It calmed me. As I listened closely I could hear the force of every pump the heart made as it pushed blood around her dieing body. Even if the heart was faltering that didn't stop it from sounding like an orchestra of instruments intertwining gracefully together to produce one calming beat. As I listened, I soon heard another heart beat. This one could not compare with hers. Yet as I listened closer I could tell more about it. The beat came from the left of me and by the speed of the pumps I could tell that this person was running. I could also tell that this person was getting closer. I stopped in my tracks and looked through the window of the door on my left. It was Nurse Hettie running franticly towards me. Her plump body bouncing in time with her tight curls. Another minute past and she finally flung her body through the door.  
"Docter, Docter," she gasped, wheezing and clasping her side. I smiled.  
"Yes, dear Hettie?" I asked. She gazed up into my eyes for a couple of minutes before finally snapping out of it.  
"It's Esme Evenson, shes finally gone. We need you to go and check over her body for her death cirtificate," she weezed out.  
I felt my eyebrows pull together, "I'm sorry, who?"  
"Esme Evenson," she breathed out again, "The poor girl that got sent straight to the morge." Her name was Esme? Esmes Evenson? My inner monster purred at the name. But wait, they said she had gone. Then why could I still here her perfect but faltering heart still beating? Unless they had got it wrong. Unless thay had made a mistake. I couldn't face it though. It was hard enough to let her die, let alone having to check over her body.  
"I'm sorry, but isn't there another doctor that could do this?" I asked.  
Her eyebrows moved closer at this news, I hardly ever refused work. "No, they've all gone home."  
"Ahhh..." I breathed. This was the problem of working night-shifts. She pushed the clip-board out towards me. I hesitated a moment before sighing and taking the board. I felt her eyes on me as I turned and faced the dreaded Morge doors, again. Instead of thinking about my task ahead of me, I closed my eyes and emptied my mind. Again, I focused on counting every singular beat of her beautiful dieing heart.

**Esmes POV**

I took in a deep breath and let the salty air over take my senses. It was peaceful here, comforting. Or was it just my knowledge of what I was going to do next that comforted me? I didnt know, but all the same, I was comforted. I felt a spray of water sprinkle over my face. I knew that this was the only way, the only way. Then why did I have a voice in the back of my head, warning me about my jump? I wasn't scared, like I said, I was comforted. But it was like sense was trying to bring be back to earth, bring me back to reality. Truth was, I didnt want to go back. I felt free, so why did I have to go? I felt my lips pull up into a wide grin, I didnt have to.  
I looked down at the rocky surface below me. I watched as each wave thrashed against the cliff bottom. It reminded me slightly of my life, how that my life would suddenly seem to get better, but then fate would always thrash the wipe of unluckiness back at me. It was painfull. My life had always seemed to be painfull, and the thought of it ending seemed to be the only bit of luckiness that I had ever had. That and the gift of my son.  
I closed my eyes and imagend his angleic face look up at me. I suddenly felt eagerness overtake my body. The thought that I was only a jump away from seeing him again was overpowering. And before I could control my actions, before I could say a real goodbye to my life, I jumped. I felt my legs spring off the mushy grass and span my body in the air. I then felt gravity overtake my body, and dragged me back to earth, my sons face still there in my mind. Thats when reality hit me, and when she hit, sure did she hit hard. A thousand cracks echoed through my body and I was broken. I was dead.

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**Well hope you enjoyed it! Sorry its short!**

**As I said above, if u get confussed because I keep on jumping back and forth, just PM me and I can help :D**

**Plzz R&R!**

**cullengirlatheart**


	3. Blood

**I'm so sorry that I have taken so long to get up this next chapter! I cannot put it into words! Im just basically sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry SORRY! (I got go on into oblivion!) ****Anyway, about my previous chapter, I did not mean to upset anyone when I put it up, I simply meant to try and warn the people who are following this story that I would not be putting up a new chapter too soon. I did not mean to "cheat" or anything I just didn't want people thinking that I have forgotten them. ANYWAY, lets stop dwelling on that and carry on with the story! I hope you all like it! ;)**

**Carlisle's POV**

My fingers curled around the handle and I pulled the door open. A loud squeak echoed from the floor and I was soon interrupted from counting the beats of her heart. In that split second from which I was parted from my sweat sanctuary, the problems that the beats had kept at bay seemed to explode inside of me.

My eyes flew open.

What was I going to do? How was I going to control myself? What did the future hold? These questions seemed to be circling around my head and for these questions; I held no answer.

I stood there, stuck between the corridor and the morgue; stuck between heaven and hell: purgatory. My mind was clouded, full of questions waiting to be answered. How? What? Why? It was only when I heard her heart stutter and fail did I suddenly forget all of those questions, but in their place, new ones appeared. What was happening? Why was her heart not picking back up? Was she...I could not even think the word of which she could not be, of which I would not allow her to be.

My frozen heart seemed to ice over as the clock over head ticked by. Death seemed to be what was best for her, yet death was the last thing, in my heart, that I wanted her to reach. I was torn between two, yet again. Seconds dragged out, longer then usual. I wanted to go find out, find out and help. But, what help could I give? Only the help of a vampire soul and what help would that be to her?

I heard the nurses elated hearts beat upstairs. Heard theirs but not hers. I heard my rasping breath draw in and out impatiently. Heard mine but not hers. Heard everything within reach of my vibrating eardrums, heard everything but a single thud of her heart or inflation of her lungs. Time was drawing out and the truth started to spring in my mind. She was dead. The facts were there, right in front of me. They were there, but not at all helpful. I wanted to rejoice at her safety, but my heart had sunken to low for rejoice, too low to even feel remorse for her deserving, beat less heart.

And just when I thought that the world had crashed over, the slow thud of her heart picked back up. My heart rose, rose so high that I felt it in my mouth. It rose and then sunk. She was in danger. My remorse overshadowed my guilt, she cold not please me.

Her heart thudded again and I forgot all of the problems. I could not deny my ears of that sweet melody. Her beats calmed me at first but soon I felt overpowered by it. She had me hypnotized. My eyes were forced together and my feet pushed forward, past the doorframe and into the Morgue. She was in danger, but her heart seemed to welcome it.

I heard the door slowly click closed behind me and I suddenly felt the full warmth of her blood. It hit me hard and painful, as painful as a thousand knives being forced down my throat. Her scent was appealing, more appealing then any humans' blood before her. The thought of her blood trickling down my throat made venom spring to my mouth.

I wanted her blood. I wanted her life. She was dieing anyway, so what did it matter if I killed her now? She would be grateful for the end, so my nature was helping her reach her goal. Every living thing had an end, so what would did it matter if one puny human's end came quicker then expected?

I crouched closer to her, yet again, her fragrance hit me, but this time I enjoyed it. The knowledge of the fact that her blood would be running, any second, down my throat seemed to make everything better. I moved closer and leaned over her body. I inhaled one last breath of her scent before finally putting my mouth to her throat.

My teeth pierced through her soft skin and the warm luxurious liquid started to filter into my mouth. It flowed down my throat, which cooled at the single touch of her blood. That was when I heard it. A shriek of pain shattered the silence of the night into pieces. A shriek of pain that had exploded from her lips. I quickly ripped my teeth away from her throat and looked into her deep chestnut eyes (which had had flown open when her scream had erupted from her throat). They were alive, aware and in pain. I had caused her pain. Another shriek ripped from her chest and I broke down. I kneeled by her table and whimpered. What had I done? I said I was going to leave her, I promised myself that I would not harm her peace and now I had caused her pain.

I heard her hands grip the table; her nails screeched against the metal. I heard her heart beat faster; trying to empty her dieing body of the poison. I heard her lungs withdraw a deep, rasping breath; trying to oxygenate her blood. I heard all of these, but I still did not look at her. I just stayed there, rocking back and forth, welling in my despair.  
How selfish was I? She was the one suffering. She was the one in pain. She was the one who I had cursed for my own achievement, and yet there I stayed, reborn in my own new aching pain. But as much as I criticized myself, I still could not help it. I just stayed there, not even shedding one ounce of despair for her, but only for myself.

I listened again to her quickening heartbeat. Even in its hastiness, it still could sound like the tune of a songbird, fluttering away from its predator. But the heart could not flutter quick enough. She had already been caught and had always been in mortal peril.

My thoughts wandered from my ache, towards the people outside this room. I did not know why, but I just listened, wondering what the unknowledgeable were up to, wondering how one person could carry on when such a cautophrosy had happened. But they weren't as innocent as I thought. As another scream screeched from her lips and echoed off the walls, I suddenly understood that those walls would not keep it in. The scream would happily venture through them and up to the people above and from what I could hear, the people were not too happy about it.

I heard their hurried footsteps patter across the ceiling. Heard them rush down the stairs. Heard them approach the morgue doors. Heard them stop and wait. Waiting for something of which I did not know.

Everything fell silent, even she, who could not even know what was going on. My thoughts seem to quickening under the pressure and I knew that I had to do something.

I quickly stood up and placed my hand over Esme's mouth. I slowly cradled her in my arms and then placed her in the casket draws. I closed it and then ran back to the table. I sat on the table on which she had just laid and looked over my appearance. I then ripped of my bloodstained coat and wiped my face clean. I placed it next to me (on top of the pool of blood) and then picked up the clipboard. I filled in the form, making out that she was dead and placed it back on the table. I then rearranged my features so I looked completely innocent. Just on time, another scream echoed from her casket and I held my breath, waiting for the people to enter. I saw the handle being pulled and watched as four nurses entered the room; Hettie, Rosemary, Ellie and June. They all looked alarmed.

"Why Hettie, what a shock it is to see you down here. And you nurse Ellie. I thought you were up looking after Mr. Johnson during his last moments," I said, my voice thick with confusion. I saw all eight eyes rip away from the surroundings and lock their eyes on me. At once, they warmed.

"Oh, Dr. Cullen," Hettie breathed, obviously shocked to see me here. "We just heard a scream and wondered what was going on, have you seen anything?"

They did not suspect me. I was the most dangerous predator alive and they still did not suspect me. "No," my mouth lied but my heart was screaming another answer; it was screaming the truth.

"Oh, let us know if you do see anything, we'll go contact the police," Hettie finished and was about to turn to leave when Ellie interrupted the end.

"You are not wearing your coat Dr. Cullen?" she questioned.

Perfect. "No, I was just about to go home actually, I just felt suddenly weak, especially with this girls poor death."

Ellie nodded in understanding, "Yes, it is a great regret." She then turned and left.

The other nurses nodded and left, leaving me and the silent victim alone.

**Well thats it ! Hope you liked it ! If you did- REVIEW ! If you didnt- REVIEW ! If you are confused- REVIEW ! If you want a chat- REVIEW OR AN ME ! **

**Hope you did like it ! Oh yeh, if you want me to try out one of your storys I am very free over the next couple of weeks so you can ask me to read whatever ! ;) But I will not be updating from 14th-21st of August because I am going on holiday ! WOOOO ! ;)**

**Cullengirlatheart**

**xxx **


	4. Never

**Hey Guys! Yes, I'M BACK!!!! And loaded with another chapter for you guys! No, I wouldn't say it's my best, but a chapter's a chapter, right?  
Well, I suppose I should apologise now. I'm so SORRY! I know you guys are probaly SICK TO DEATH of me saying this, but I truely am! I don't think you wanna hear any excuses, so I wont go into how much work I've had or anything I'll just say I'M SO SORRY!  
Well, now thats out of the way, here's my story. I decided to actually dedicate this chapter to one of my great friends, Rosie. So RosieTWILIGHTx this chapter is for you and for all the bugging you achieved during the time I hadn't updated, so here it is...  
Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight :( Unfortunately, BUTTTT I do own my own new story thats over on fictionpress (my username is ) so go check it out now! I WILL LOVE YOU FOEVER! (p.s. sorry for sounding like a cheesy advert.)**

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****Esme's POV**

Blood; sweat red liquid, which flowed through the veins of the supple beings that inhabited this world. Blood; thick alluring fluid, which I quenched for every second this fire pounded through my body. Blood; the liquor of life, which I yearned for, to flow down my throat. Blood.  
Minutes ticked by and still, that word pounded throughout my being. Blood. Blood. Blood. That single word had the power to take everything from me and yet give me everything that I wanted. With one single whisper of that tremendous sound and all of my needs were changed; changed to revolve around that one entity, blood.  
Confusion filled me. I had a desperation, no, a need for this liquid to flow through me and yet I had no idea why. I could hardly rip my thoughts from this fresh liquid, nor did I have a power over the fluid. Instead, it had a power of me, a power I could not grasp or comprehend. I was useless and yet allied with this entity.  
Hours passed and I still laid there, my eyes closed, enduring the pain which existed because of the fire.  
Where was I? _Who_ was I? I could not remember anything except the fire, which burned throughout me. Was I in hell?  
A slight chuckle brought me from my reverie. Immediately I was cautious; I was not alone. I tensed every muscle in my body, readying for an attack. Whoever this being was, they would not survive this event, I was sure of that.

Planning my attack out briefly in my head, I prepared myself. I snapped my eyes open and stealthily leaped from the table, throwing my attack towards the only being in sight. My arms clawed their way through the air towards his throat, almost reaching their target, but not quite. The boy (I assumed he was a boy by the way his features were set among his face) quickly grabbed my arms and pinned them at my sides. I had thought that I had the element of surprise on my side; perhaps I did not.  
I felt the boy's weakness within his hold and I knew in a second that I could easily break it, but as soon as he had my arms clasped, the forgotten fire overwhelmed me, and I fell, pained, into the young man's arms. He caught me instantly, picking my up with one hand, while still clasping my hands with the other. He took me back over to the table, on which I had been laying, and set me down. Gratefully, I collapsed onto the surface and stared up into the boy's eyes. He still had hold of my hands but did nothing more. Why did he not just kill me now? Why not end my troubles and be done with me? Why keep me burning?

"Because Carlisle will not be happy if I ended you now." The voice echoed from his mouth and it shocked me. Had I been saying my thoughts aloud? Had he heard everything I had been thinking, all this time? That would be explain why he had known my attack was coming, but still, I do not remember even opening my mouth. Then again, I did not remember allot of things, such as who I was.

"Your name is Esme Evenson, previously committed suicide on the basis that your son had died." Yet again it shocked me, but his words sent a thrill throughout my body, as though I had been shocked by an electric bolt. Son…dead? Murky images flowed through my mind, each bringing a jolt of pain to my heart along with them. Then another word from his speech sprung up in my memory. Suicide. It was too much. A bigger pain flowed through my heart as I remembered images that I did not know I had experienced.  
Quiet fell between the young man and me, and we stared into each other's eyes, each with a pained expression on our faces. His pain confused me. Instantly a motherly instinct fell upon me. I could not understand it but it still overpowered me, making me feel as though I should protect this young man from any danger. Suddenly the boy's expression changed; no longer was he pained but confused.

"What is that?" he mumbled, looking further into my eyes as though he could see more then just the orb that held my sight.  
Yet again confusion overflowed me. _What?_ I thought. Nothing had changed in the past few seconds I was sure.

"You… you feel something for me; something more then just blood-lust."

"How do you know?" A sound echoed around the room and I presumed it was my voice.

"I can read your mind," he dismissed quickly, moving onto his more pressing subject, "your not sure what it is, but you feel something towards me, something like caring. You _care_ for me?"

I did not know what this feeling was, nor could I control it. Whatever it was, I was under it's power, and even though I was in pain, I still did not care for me but only for this beings safety.  
The being turned, let go of my hands, and called softly towards nothingness, "Carlisle".  
Instantly I heard footsteps above. A second later a blonde figure walked in through the doorway, worry creased in every line of his face, "Yes?"  
As soon as the man walked into the room, I felt another overwhelming feeling towards this figure. It was the same and yet different to what I felt for this boy, as though I was capable of feeling more then one thing at a time.

"It's Esme, she's different, different from the usual new-born." The boy said, his voice sounded intrigued and yet wary.  
At this news the man's eyes widened, his expression seemed fascinated and yet worried. Seconds past before the young man was speaking again. "No, it's not bad, it's _different. _She can't understand it, but it's as though," their eyes both fell on me in synchronization, "as though she _cares_ for us." Yet again silence flew past in seconds before the young man was speaking again. "I don't know Carlisle, she seems dangerous…" The man who I presumed was Carlisle started walking towards me. I stared, wide-eyed at his approach. Feelings seemed to fly through me confusing my advance in this situation. My instinct was yelling, no, screaming at me to attack; this man was seen as a threat and I needed to destroy him, but my heart, my heart was screaming another thing. I knew that I should listen to my instinct, that's what I needed to follow, but one part didn't let me, one small miniscule part kept me there, lying on the table, watching as the man walked towards me. So I stayed there, listening to my heart.

"Esme?" Carlisle whispered, his approach coming to an end at my side. I stared straight into his amber eyes, knowing my eyes were showing everything that my heart was feeling, "Esme, can you hear me?"  
I felt my head bob on my neck, signaling a yes. "Esme," He started again, "do you want to kill me?" This shocked me. Kill? I did not _want_ to, no. Hence why I was still laying here, not moving in on my attack. "Esme." He prompted and slowly I began to answer. I lifted my body so I soon sat up and turned to face Carlisle. I saw the young man tense in the background, knowing my intensions, but not sure of my actions.

"Kill you?" I whispered, hearing the shock that I felt seep into my words. He nodded, indicating that that is what he meant. "Never," I said my voice more strong now, "never would I kill you Carlisle. Never."

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**There it is! I know it's not brilliant (but I hardly am brill) and I know it's not long (sorry about that) but I promise that the next chap will be at least three pages long (unforntunately this one was only 2 and a bit) but I can't promise that I'll update striaght away. I do hope I update soon, but I can't trust myself, so if I do take a long time, please dont give up on me!!!! I will update, but not quickly.  
PLEASE R&R! U know you want to!  
cullengirlatheart  
p.s. I might be changeing my name soon, so don't be alarmed if I change....**


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